Sometimes Nightmares Feal to Real to be Fake
by loveXtoXwrite
Summary: Cas is back to normal, and all three boys are searching for Yellow Eyes and Crowley. But what happens when Sam has a nightmare that might be more than just a dream? Will Dean find out in time to stop him from doing something incredibly stupid?
1. Stranger

**Disclamer: I own nothing.**

**IMPORTANT: This starts about six months after season six ended. Castiel is back to normal because God came and took his souls away. **

**A/N: This was originally only going to be a one shot, but I liked where it was going, so... yeah. :) Now it's becoming a story. And please review, to tell me what you think. Criticism is fine :) **

**Stranger  
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Sam stared at the girl who seemed to be zoned out, looking down at a cigarette in her hand. _No, not zoned out_, he thought, _She's trying to meditate._ Something about her seemed familiar, but he was sure he had never seen her in his life. "Uch, you smoke?" He wasn't sure why he had said it, but he couldn't take it back now. Something flashed in her eyes for half a second, though he couldn't tell what it was.

"Disgusting habit, I know. I have lots of them unfortunately." She looked up, eyes narrowed and nose crinkled in disgust, "As if you have room to talk in the first place! At least mine will only kill me."

Sam was stricken to silence for a moment. Did this girl _know_ about what he had done?

"Of course I know. Even if I didn't before, I would now. You still reek of it." She flicked her cigarette onto the ground and stamped it out with her foot.

"How did you- Hold on. Did you just read my mind?"

She sighed tiredly, "Not exactly. I can't _hear_ what you're thinking; I just _know_ what you're thinking _about_. It's the same thing with your brother and his angel butt buddy."

"Wh-… How?"

"It's a long story."

Sam waited for her to elaborate, but after about a minute of silence he said, "I've got time."

"That's nice." Was all she said before she stood up abruptly, and stalked back inside her house.

Sam stood there, thunderstruck. This girl was unusual in the oddest sense. He wasn't sure what to do now, but he had promised Dean that he would wait for him to get back. "Why not," he mumbled to himself, but just as he was about to take a step toward the door, it flew open and the girl came stomping out of it.

Her face was distorted in pain and what seemed like… annoyance? "Why do you have to be so damned stubborn? Just take my word for it; you don't want to know about me," Her face fell to reveal a young, scared girl, and her voice dropped down to almost a broken whisper as she repeated herself, "you don't want to know about me."

"Look, I just want to-"

"Help, I know." Now she closed her eyes as a tear escaped, rolling down her cheek, "But you can't help me, so please, please just go away."

"You can't know that for sure. Please, just let me try."

She only sighed and mumbled, "So damned stubborn…" before she walked back inside, leaving the door open.

Sam took that as an invitation, and walked in. He looked around, not noticing the actual house around him. He found her sitting at her dining room table with a cup of coffee clutched tightly in both hands. She couldn't be any older than twenty-two, maybe twenty-three.

She smirked humorlessly, "Wrong. I'm Eighteen. Just started my own life."

Sam was taken aback. She was so young. Too young to be so… old.

Now she snorted, "Yeah, well I guess we've got that in common."

"Would you stop that?" He was over his shock, now it starting to get on his nerves. He didn't like someone knowing so much about him.

"If I could, you wouldn't be here." She spat in an acidic tone.

Sam sat down next to her, "Okay, I'm sorry," he said softly, "Just uh… Start from the beginning. When did this all start?"

"Depends on what you mean exactly. I've been psychic all my life, but I've been attuned to you and your family for about eight years." She rubbed her eyes with one hand as if she had a headache, then looked back up to Sam. "Ever since I read the first Supernatural book."

Sam lifted his eyebrows at the girl, "Heavy reading for a ten year old."

"Yeah well, I was a smart kid."

"Okay… Well this is good actually. I think I know how to help you."

"No! Don't!"

"Don't what? Help you? I thought that was what you wanted?"

"Of course I want help, but not that way. I would rather _die_."

"What? Why?"

She shook her head, "You know what, never mind. I don't think you can help me. If anything, you being here just makes it worse."

"Hold on. Just tell me why you don't want help from-"

"Don't! Don't say his name; I don't want to hear it. Please."

"Okay… Then tell me why you don't want him to help you. He's the best shot you have."

"It doesn't matter. Just leave. And please… please don't tell anyone about me."

"But… why?" He knew he couldn't just leave this girl. She looked like she could drop dead at any moment.

She seemed desperate now, flustered, "Because, he'll- Just because."

"What? Why are you so afraid of him?"

"Please! Leave me alone!" She stood up and tried to push Sam off the chair and out of her house.

Sam stood up, but didn't move any further than that. "Listen. If you really know me so well, then you know I'm not going just leave you when you're so close to…"

She sighed heavily, but stopped trying to push Sam out the door. Sitting back down, she hid her face in her hands and started, "I used to have a family you know? I had two older brothers, both my parents and a-" she took a deep, rattled breath, "a twin sister."

"What happened to them?" Sam asked softly as he thought; _Please don't say they're all dead._

"You guessed it. They were murdered. I was only three at the time. I had gotten into a fight with my sister, so I ran outside and hid under a bush in our front yard. My oldest brother dug out a hiding place for me so I'd have somewhere to hide when she started picking on me. Come to think of it, he probably did the same thing for her. We hated each other, even now when I think about her, I get chills. And I don't mean like siblings dislike each other growing up. I mean we literally hated each other. Anyway, I ended up falling asleep out there. I have no idea how long I was out there, but when I woke up I could hear screams coming from the house. I was scared, so I poked my head out to where I could see, but managed to stay hidden somehow. They walked right by me and never noticed. When I finally got the courage to go inside, my entire family was lying in the living room, _dead. _Their faces were frozen in terror and pain. All of them, except for my sister. I looked everywhere for her, but she was gone…" She had stopped talking, and her muscles had completely frozen, as if her mind were being held by the memory.

"I'm sorry for you, I am, but… What does any of this got to do with… Him?"

Her head snapped up almost inhumanly fast, and she locked her gaze on him, looking straight into his eyes, "Don't you get it?" Her voice had changed. Almost too little to be noticed, but now it sounded… wrong and filled with malice. "_They _were angels. They killed my family, and took my sister. And _He _was one of them!"

"Alright, we'll find another way. I promise. And… I'm sorry."

Her eyes fell from his as she shook her head slowly, and when she spoke her voice was soft. The wrongness was gone. "Don't be sorry for me. You've been through worse." Her brow crinkled, "Which reminds me Sam… there's something you need to keep in mind at all costs."

Sam nodded, "Shoot."

She looked up at him wide eyed, "Your dreams aren't always _just_ dreams. But that doesn't mean you should go chasing after them, because sometimes… it's better to just leave well enough alone_._"

Sam's eyebrows knit together, obviously confused, "What do you mean? I don't have psychic dreams..."

"Don't you remember? It's one of the powers you got from Azazel."

Sam stared at her, taken aback as he remembered having visions at some point in the past. Then, finally, he shook his head and sighed sadly, "I don't drink demon blood anymore. I can't use my powers."

"Sam, you had visions _before_ you started drinking demon blood. Think of what Ruby said. You never needed it in the first place."

Sam's stare became intense, "What are you saying?"

"The only reason you needed the demon blood was because you never really embraced your powers. There was always a part of you that _knew_ it was wrong. Don't you remember Ava? The only demon blood she had was still running through her veins from when she was six months old."

"All of the demon blood is out of my system. I was detoxed by God. Literally."

"He didn't get all of it. The demon blood chemically fused with your blood. You can't get rid it."

Sam huffed and looked away as he slowly began to remember patterns in the time line, "Fine. But I haven't had visions since Dean killed Yellow Eyes. Why would they start up again now?"

"Just remember what I said." She looked down at her watch and sighed, "I've got to go to work, but you're welcome to stay here. It beats wasting money on a dingy motel room."

Sam blinked, surprised. "Oh-okay. Thanks. I'll start on some research then."

"Alright. I'll be gone until tomorrow morning, so just make yourself comfortable. I have cable, and there's plenty of food in the fridge. Just… Tell Dean not to order porn when he gets here. It's weird."

Sam's eyes widened at the last part. Did she see _everything_ they did?

She laughed, "No, of course not. But I know you two almost as well as you know each other."

Sam nodded once. This conversation had taken an unexpected and very uncomfortable turn, so he changed the subject. "Hold on a second, it's only three, and you're gonna be at work until morning? Where do you work?"

She shook her, "I have a split shift, and I've got a couple classes today. Pre-clalc and biology."

The girl turned to walk down the hallway, when Sam thought of something. "Wait…"

She turned around, eyebrows raised, "I'm gonna be late."

"You never told me your name."

All she said was, "You never asked," before walked into her room and closed the door behind her.

Sam shook his head as he walked to the couch and grabbed his laptop out of his bag. There was something about this girl that struck an odd feeling in him. He tried to write it off as attraction. He _had _noticed the girl was attractive. She wasn't exactly tall, but she wasn't short either, she had light brown hair that fell to the middle of her back, defined curves, and a beautiful face with bright blue eyes that were slightly slanted. But, she was only eighteen, and even though she was obviously beautiful, he knew he hadn't really thought of her in that sense. No… It was something else. There was something off about her. He thought for a moment about calling Dean and Cas, but decided that would be a bad idea. He wondered idly about why angels had wanted her family dead as he waited for his laptop to load up. And how could she have survived without them knowing? Angels could sense people. Finally his computer was completely loaded, and he set to finding some way to break what ever string was attaching her to him and Dean.

After about half an hour, the girl came out of her room wearing slacks and a black t-shirt with a small red logo on the right side of the chest, and her hair in a ponytail. She looked at Sam for a moment, and said, "Promise me you'll at least try to get some sleep while I'm gone. You can't live off of two hours of sleep a week."

Sam only nodded, but he had no intention of keeping that promise. Even when he was able to sleep, he tried not to. Sleep was never restful for him anymore.

The girl sighed before she walked out the door.

Sam had been working for hours and still hadn't found anything useful. He put his computer down on the seat next to him and stood up to walk outside, deciding to get some fresh air. His phone started ringing as he walked outside, and he picked it up. _Dean. _

"Hey."

"Where are you? I'm on my way."

He gave Dean the girls address, along with directions on how to get there, then asked, "Find any leads on crowly?"

"No. What about you, how's the search for Yellow Eyes going?"

"Slow, but I think I stumbled onto someone that can help, but Cas can't know about her."

"Please tell me it's not a demon Sam."

A small sigh escaped Sam's lips. After all this time, and after everything that's happened, Dean still didn't trust him. "She's not a demon."

"Good." That was all he said before he hung up.

Sam just stood outside, looking up at the sky. He wondered if Dean would ever really trust him again. And he wondered if he actually deserved Deans trust in the first place. After a few minutes he walked back inside, and went right back to his research.

_Sam yawned, and stretched his limbs, his muscles ached from the uncomfortable position he had fallen asleep in. He wasn't sure when he had fallen asleep, but when he looked outside it was dark. Weird…Where's Dean? He should be here by now._

_"Sam… How are you?"_

_Sam looked over to where the voice had come from, and his eyes went wide at what he saw before him. He tried to open his mouth to say something, but he couldn't make himself move. There, standing before him, was Lucifer. Wearing Sam._

_Lucifer smiled at him, "What? Not what you expected? Or do you prefer this?" In a matter of seconds, Sam's face morphed into Jessica's._

_No! As hard as he tried, there was no way to shake his momentary paralysis._

_"No, this poor girl isn't on your mind anymore is she? No, no. You haven't thought of her in years. So then who..." He -or she- pondered for a moment. "Ah. I've got it. This then." Once again, the person in front of him changed. Although this one was different, and it would haunt Sam for the rest of his life. Lucifer was wearing Adam, but every inch of his skin that was showing was covered in burns and scars._

_Anger tore through his fear instantly, but all he could think to say was, "Get out him! Or I swear I'll find a way back in the box just to kill you for good!"_

_Lucifer only ignored him, "He misses you, you know. I don't understand why… you never really did a great job at protecting him. You're not much in the way of a big brother."_

_"Shut up!"_

_"Dean would have done a much better job protecting _you_. Though misery does love company I suppose… And of course, with you gone, he's all alone down there with Michael and I. Now what kind of man leaves his brother alone in such a place? Come to think of it, you're a pretty horrible little brother too. You let Dean go to Hell for you, and then did exactly what he begged you not to do…"_

_"I know what I did," Sam fumed.  
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_"Of course you do. You jump started the apocalypse. Which means… All those people that died in the crossfire: Their blood is on your hands. And your little brother being ripped out of Heaven and pushed into Hell is your fault too. You've failed a lot of people Sammy."_

_Sam lost total control of himself. He jumped out of his chair and swung at Lucifer. His fist went right through him, as if he were a ghost._

_Lucifer shook his head as he made tsk noises. "Sammy, Sammy, Sammy. That's no way to treat your betters."_

_Sam chose to ignore the way he used the nickname Dean had always used for him, "Yeah, I'm sure you're much better than me. That's why God likes us better right? Don't kid yourself." He wasn't sure why he had said it, but he didn't really care. He was pissed._

_Anger flared in Lucifer's eyes, but he kept his calm as he said, "If you're so sure humans are better than Angels, why don't you come prove it?"_

_"Sure," Sam said with dry sarcasm, "I'll just jump right back in."_

_"It's okay, I understand Sam. You're scared."_

_"Think what you want. I'm not going back."_

_"Not even if I'm willing to exchange you're brother for you?"_

_"You're lying."_

_"I've told you Sam, I have no need to lie. Come back and I'll let you're brother go. Adam will go back to heaven where he belongs, and you'll be back where you belong."_

_"You think I belong in Hell…"_

_"That doesn't matter. What matters is that you do."_

"Sam…"

Sam felt a slight pressure on his left shoulder, and suddenly, he was falling. A whole two feet. Sam looked up, and sighed in relief.

Dean was standing over him, eyebrows raised, "Clowns or midgets?"

"That's not funny Dean." Sam said as he pushed himself up off the ground.

Dean smiled, "Sure it is Sammy." Then he got serious and asked, "So, are you going to tell me what we're doing here?"

"I'm not sure exactly… I was planning on getting a motel room when I was done questioning that demon, but… I don't really know how to explain it. I just got a feeling that I should go somewhere else, and then I just ended up here."

"A _feeling_ led you here?" Dean asked skeptically.

"Just forget it okay? The point is that I'm pretty sure the girl who lives here can help us find Yellow Eyes."

"Is she hot?"

Sam scowled at him, "She's eighteen Dean."

"Right. So, how is she supposed to help us find him?"

"She's a psychic."

"You've got to be kidding me Sam. A psychic? Really?"

"Why not? Pamela helped us find Cas. A demon should be loads easier to find than an angel."

"Alright, fine. But if she's just a psychic, why can't Cas know about her?"

"Because she doesn't want him to. She has about as much love for angels as we do."

Dean's eyebrows rose, "Why?"

Sam only shrugged, thinking it was probably better if he didn't go into details about the girl. He didn't like lying to Dean, but he knew that if he found out about her being attuned to them, he'd start asking her about what Sam was thinking, trying to make sure he was okay. But he couldn't afford that now. The girl probably already knew about his dream, and he didn't want Dean to find out. Even if it was just a dream… Because if it wasn't, Sam knew what he had to do, and Dean would never let him do it.


	2. Caged

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! ... :( **

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update. I got stuck A LOT.  
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**_IMPORTANT!: I fixed up chapter one a bit, made it more understandable, nothing big though. ALSO, I probably won't be able to update for a couple months after this_ because our internet is getting shut off )'8 But please don't give up on this story if you like it! I'll be working on the next couple chapters while I'm not able to post, so don't be to upset, cuz I'll be posting them almost all at once :) Oh and please review, I always love to know what you guys think :) constructive criticism is more than welcome!  
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**Caged**

Thoughts of Hell flashed through Sam's mind. It was hard to remember the beginning. It was even harder to remember anything from before he jumped in the cage. Only small bits and peaces, and they seemed to come back to him little by little, like a weird kind of like déjà vu. One thing he did remember, however, was that he had once thought that the first few decades would be the worst. That either: the two angels would eventually start to get bored with him and Adam, and the torture wouldn't be _as_ bad as it was at first, _or_ that he would eventually start to get used to it, even just a tiny bit. But the only reason he remembered this was because of how completely wrong he had been. With each passing year, Lucifer and Michel seemed to get angrier at being stuck in the box, and would become more creative in their punishments. Lucifer especially.

The worst should have been when he would be forced to watch as they tore at and flayed Adam bit by bit. Especially when Lucifer decided to take Sam's form when he would start with Adam. His little brother was made to believe Sam had turned on him, and Sam could only watch. He would never forget the look on his face and the tone in his voice as he looked at Lucifer, who he believed to be Sam, and asked him, "Why? How could you do this? We're supposed to be brothers." It was his punishment for trying to divert the Angels' attention from Adam. When they caught on to his "pathetic acts of heroism" they were pissed that he had been able to trick them. That _should_ have been the worst part of it, but he would completely forget about his little brother when they started on him. The pain was… unimaginable, and impossible to forget. They took pleasure in finding new and more effective ways to torture Sam.

But at least, then there were two human souls to entertain the Angels, and they weren't actually angry at Adam. At least, Michel wasn't. Lucifer hated him all the same. Now… Adam was there alone, and they had no better outlet. How long had he been out now? Almost a year maybe? He wasn't sure; time had little meaning to him anymore. He had absolutely _no idea _how long he had been in stuck in the cage, although it felt like multiple millenniums. He understood now, Dean's obsession with hunting after he had gotten out of the pit. Concentrating on a job put the memories in the passenger seat for a while. He was alone at the moment, and had given up on trying to find anything that could help the girl on the internet.

He had called Bobby a few minutes ago, but now all he could do was wait for him to call him back. Dean was MIA, probably looking for a lead on how to find Crowley. Also, he had promised the girl -who was still at school- that he wouldn't call Cas. Even if he didn't though, it was practically impossible to get Cas to so much as stay in the same room as him for more than what was absolutely necessary. He couldn't forgive himself for what he had done to Sam. Hell, Dean had almost killed him the second God had taken the souls from him. Sam had had to hold him back, which had taken the biggest effort of Sam's life. Not because he was mad at Cas, he never was, but because his memories of Hell were so raw at that time, he was practically reliving them. But he knew that if Dean had killed Cas, he would eventually feel that it was the worst mistake he had ever made. Because no matter what he had done, no matter how badly he had messed up, Cas was still family. And family looks out for each other, they forgive each other. And most importantly, they _never, ever _hurt one another.

So all he could do was sit, and think. And remember. He could still feel the phantom pains of his memories, although now they were almost close to being bearable. For the first few months after he had gotten his memories back he would pass out for - what Dean had told him- days at a time when he would start to think about Hell. Nowadays he could almost ignore it, but this particular memory he was thinking about engulfed his mind almost completely.

_Sam stood motionless in a dark room he had never seen before, as he watched Lucifer -who had decided to use his true form today- pace before him. No doubt thinking of what he should do next. He had gotten bored with tearing little bits of Sam's skin off and forcing them down his throat quicker today than usual. Sam knew that was a bad sign, because when ever he started getting bored with something, he would think of something worse. It always made the last thing he was doing seem like nothing. Finally, he stopped pacing and a smile spread across his features, telling Sam that he had made up his mind. Suddenly there was what looked like a giant wooden wheel sitting a few feet away from him. Sam ignored the fact that his shirt and pants had disappeared as familiarity poked at the back Sam's mind. Somewhere in his mind, he knew what it was for. If he could just think back to when he had seen this thing before… Then, with a sudden rush of terror, he remembered reading about it once during a hunt with… who were they? Their names were something like Joe and Dan? No… John and… Dean… Yes! John and Dean! His father and older brother. He was young, so his dad put him on research duty. They were hunting the ghost of a witch who had been tortured and eventually put on this thing as a slow form of execution. Just as he was beginning to remember exactly what happened on the wheel, Lucifer walked toward him and grabbed his wrist. He looked at it for a long moment. Sam could only cry out in pain as Lucifer's grip tightened slowly until every bone in his wrist were crushed. _

_ He took a step back and patiently waited for Sam to stop screaming. When he did finally begin to quiet down, Lucifer forced him to hold his gaze as he said, "This happens to be one of my favorite inventions of man. It shows just how evil man can be. And it's such a cleaver invention too. Effective, even for one as… creative, as I."_

_ For the next couple days, Lucifer would brake or crush one of Sam's bones, wait until Sam was able to think through the pain and brake or crush another one. Finally, once Sam looked as though he _had _no bones, Lucifer picked him up and began to weave and braid him into the spokes of the wheel. Each time Sam was moved, white hot pain burned through his entire body. The pain was so severe, Sam couldn't so much as yelp. Once Sam was so tangled in the wheel he couldn't move a single inch of his body, Lucifer stood up straight and looked at Sam appraisingly, then smiled in what Sam thought was satisfaction. _

_ "Now that that's done, we can get to the fun part. But I've got to go get something. Don't go anywhere Sam." Lucifer mocked, before walking out of the room. When he came back, he was holding an angel blade in his hand. As he stood over Sam once again, he held up the blade and gave it a pointedly curious look. "I'm sure you already know this is the _only_ weapon able to kill an angel, but I bet you never guessed that was never its true intention. In fact, this didn't start out as a weapon at all. You see, this is what we used to… _punish_ other angels when they were thinking of disobedience. I'm sure you can imagine how painful an angel's punishment is, seeing as it's meant to derive total compliance from God's warriors. So I'm curious… If it can do that to an Angel, what could it do to a lesser being, such as… a human?"_

_ With every word Lucifer spoke, a new and intensified wave of pain and fear washed over Sam. He couldn't actually concentrate on anything Lucifer was saying, but somehow, he got the gist of what he was talking about. Sam's body began to tremble involuntarily, but it stopped a moment later because of the pain that racked through him. He saw Lucifer raise the blade above Sam, and watched on silently as the blade seemed to come down in slow motion. It pierced the left side of Sam's chest, making him feel as though his blood had turned to molten lava and every nerve in his body was on fire. His mouth opened as he tried to scream out in agony, but it felt as though his lungs had been ripped out of his chest. Lucifer retracted the blade until it was only piercing flesh and muscle, then slashed downward in one quick, graceful movement. A huge gaping tear from his chest to his waist was left in its wake, and indescribable pain radiated out and around each place the blade had touched him. _

Sam was vaguely aware of a door flying open and being slammed shut. He was too deep in his memory to notice much.

That is, until the girl started yelling, "Sam, I swear to God, you have got to be the biggest gluten for punishment… ever! You're freaking stupid, you know that? Don't you _ever _listen?"

Sam looked up at her and sighed, "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Uh, yeah actually, I do! You can't honestly believe that making a deal with the _Devil _is a good idea."

Sam shrank away from the word Devil. If there was anything he had learned about Lucifer during the time he spent in the cage, it was that that name _really_ pissed him off. Every time Sam had so much as thought the word Lucifer would punish him harshly. And harsh to a fallen archangel could make the most foul of demons flinch just by thinking about it.

The girl gave him a sad look as she said, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…"

Sam just shook his head, "It's alright. I'm kind of used to it by now…"

She sighed, "Look, all I'm trying to say is that he must have some kind of underlying plan up his sleeve. There are _two_ archangels down there who have nothing better to do than think of ways to get out. Not to mention the fact that their both millions of years old, and ridiculously smart."

"I know that, but it's my _brother_ stuck down there, because of _me_. If there's any chance that I can get him out of there, I'll take it."

"You'd have to open the cage to get back in. There's no way you could do it without letting them out."

"They didn't get out when Cas came and got me."

"Oh, I see," She said in a sarcastically understanding tone, "You think Castiel will help you jump back in the cage?"

Sam shrugged, "If he can get me out when Michael and Lucifer didn't want him to, I'm guessing it should be fairly easy for him to get me back in when Michael and Lucifer _do_ want him to."

"That's not what I asked."

"He's an angel. He'll do what's right."

She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, "No. He won't. He's already on bad terms with Dean. He wouldn't do anything to jeopardize what little friendship they have left. Not even to fix things with you."

He knew she was right, but there had to be another way. Another angel maybe?

"No other angel would risk going down there."

"Maybe not another one of _God's_ angels."

The girl's eyes popped opened as her hand dropped to her side, and she gave him an irritated look, "Death? You're talking about Death! He's less likely to do it than Castiel." Her tone matched her expression.

"Not necessarily," Sam corrected her, "It doesn't mess the 'Natural Order', Adam will stay dead, he'll just go back to heaven, and I'll…" He couldn't finish that sentence. The thought alone made him flinch.

"And you'll go back to Hell." She finished gravely, in the same tone Dean used with him all the time. As if the outcome of his plan wasn't worth it, and he was stupid for trying.

Sam knew it was worth it however, and it was _his _soul to bargain with. Besides, it was a choice between his soul and Adam's being tormented for the rest of eternity for _Sam's _mistakes. If anyone deserved damnation, it was him. _Speaking of absent brothers…_ He thought before asking, "Hey, do you know where Dean is?"

She didn't seem at all surprised at the sudden change of subject, "He's actually on his way back here. He's been talking to Castiel about possible ways to lure Crowley out in the open."

It shocked Sam how matter-of-factly she said it. _But then, _he thought, _She's been forced to watch our lives for years. I guess it's just as natural for her. _That's when another thought hit him, and he wondered why he hadn't thought of it before. "Can I ask you something?"

The girl shrugged, "Go for it."

"You say that your powers are tied to us somehow, right?"

"Yeah, but you already knew that…"

"Well I was wondering… Do you still… I dunno, have visions about us when we're dead?"

She closed her eyes and sighed sadly before she answered him. "It's more than just visions, but no. When you die the tie between us is cut. That is, until you come back." There was something off about the way she said it… there was something she wasn't mentioning. The girl yawned deeply, and Sam finally noticed just how tired she looked. There were dark purple circles around her eyes that made it look like she had two black eyes, her entire frame was slumped, her breath was slow and deep, and she was swaying on her feet slightly.

"Jeez, you look like hell," Sam mentally flinched at his poor choice of words.

The girl shrugged, "Long work days and college classes five days a week does that to you."

Sam narrowed his eyes at her. She was lying. He had learned the tell-tale signs people gave off when they lied years ago, and she was practically a neon sign. "It's more than that…"

Her jaw tightened and she looked him straight in the eye as she said, "Stop changing the subject. We're talking about you're _stupid_ ass plan to run back to Lucifer!"

"Fine, but just… hear me out please?"

She sighed again, but made a show of giving him her attention.

"Thank you. It's not like I _want_ to go back. I don't but… knowing Adam's down there while I'm up here is..." He shook his head sadly, "It's not much better than being down there. He's my _brother_, and he's there because of _me_. Because _I_ screwed up. We swore we'd protect him and look what happened. He never asked for any of this and he _still _got screwed worse than any of us. _And it's my fault._ I can't… I can't live with that."

The girl looked away and shook her head, "I don't know… I get where you're coming from but…" Her eyebrows knit together, "I just don't know!"

"Look, just… Don't tell Dean about this okay? He doesn't need to know."

"What don't I need to know Sam?" Dean asked gruffly.

Sam hadn't even heard him come in. He wondered if Castiel had just zapped him there. He sighed, beside himself. "It doesn't matter." Was all he could think to say.

"To hell it doesn't Sammy! Last time you started lying to me the apocalypse happened."

"It's not like that Dean. It's just…" He was at a loss for words. He couldn't think of anyway to cover this up without it ending in Dean locking him away in Bobby's panic room. Again.

Luckily, and to Sam's surprise, the girl came to his rescue, "I walked in on him thinking about something that happened down in the cage."

"Oh…" Dean wasn't sure what to say to that. It wasn't like he didn't know Sam thought of Hell, but what exactly _could_ he say to something like that?

Sam of course, instantly felt guilty for his brother having been put in this situation unnecessarily, but he didn't see any other way to get Dean off his back about what he had over heard. He shook his head, "Like I said, it doesn't matter. So are we any closer to finding Crowley?"

Dean sighed heavily as he shook his head, "That bastard's one hell of a hider. Go figure."

Sam snorted, and was just about to say something when the girl chimed in again.

"You'll have to give me about twenty-four hours to find Azazel."

Sam guilty at her words. He had forgotten to actually ask her to help them find Yellow Eyes, and he was sure she had probably only learned about it because Dean was about to ask about it. He shot a guilty smile at her, silently apologizing.

Her only response to that was a half smile that, thankfully, Dean missed.

Dean nodded, "Alright, that's fine. But uh, are you sure you can actually find him? He's one tricky son of a bitch."

The girl gave a non-committal shrug, "Demons aren't as clever as they'd like to think."

Dean only raised his eyebrows at this.

The girl smiled slightly before she yawned. "'Kay well, I'm gonna go to bed so… night, I guess…" And without another word, she sauntered off to her room.

But right before she closed her door, Sam heard a small voice in his head; _Alright, I'll help you get back into the cage after I find Azazel for you, and you help me break my tie to your family. _

He wasn't sure what had convinced her, and he didn't actually ask for her help, but he was glad -and terrified- that she decided to help him.


End file.
